Get to the point!

We all have things to see, people to do, and not enough time or tolerance to patiently wait for Rambling-Redundant-Rita to get her point across.  Dave Chappelle had it right: 

Wrap it up, B!

You know what would make the world an easier place to live?  If everyone had to summarize their opinion, conversation, etc. in three sentences, 17 syllables.  What the hell am I talking about?  Haikus of course!!  The ancient artform perfected by the Japanese umpteen billion years ago (give or take) is *perfect* for all sorts of stuff.  It's easy, just remember 5-7-5 and let the poetry flow.

Termination at work?

No longer need you

The Man must line his pockets

Door might smack your ass

Accidentally knocked up your teenage girlfriend?  Tell her angry dad like you're ripping off a bandaid:

I knocked up your girl

But it's her fault for sure

She said no anal

See, now you've got the idea.  Here are a few haikus dedicated to our man of honor.

Reposted with permission from The Twiangle:

It's another weekly edition of humping haikus over at The Twiangle this week. Guess who's up to bat this time (pun intended)?! It's the lovely Matt Bushell (aka Phil Dwyer, aka Phantastic Phil, aka Marvelous Matt, aka Magic Hands).

The Man, Myth, Legend

Matt Bushell started it all

Slide into home, babe.

~RSM

Sent Bella to Forks

Creating our obsession

Thank you, homerun Phil

~ELC

Baseball is his game

Phantastic Phil is his name

Step up to the plate

~RSM

Phantabulous Phil

Under appreciated

Needs Twiangle love

~CFC

If first base is nice

Boobies second is better

Phil can work the third.

~RSM

Phil's Phans

Who doesn't love Matt Bushell?  I tell you, Phil Dwyer has phans like no other.  Just check out this avid admirer!

[I'm not sure what's up with the bowtie (I think she was dressing to impress),
and I heard she kept mumbling something about #TheHookup,

be she seems like a nice girl overall.]

And there's a rumor that The Twiangle's Hump Day Haikus are dedicated to Phil this week.