But the contact sent RSM and I into a flurry of squees and "Oh my god what do we say? What do we says?" and then led to the discussion of what exactly could come (heh) of said contact. I basically decided that I will befriend our dear Matt, campaign like a motherfucker to get him into Breaking Dawn (Phil goes to the wedding and is in pictures) and then be his date to the premiere. After making sure Matt is taken care of ("given a joyride" as RSM put it), I will seduce a certain scrufftastic British kid and shag him like a wild woman in the bathroom. It's an absolutely plausible plan. And of course, if we're on the inside like that, there is the potential for everyone to get a piece of Twi ass. Thus was born The Hookup.
Here's the breakdown:
I meet Matt. I get Matt to introduce Memory_Jean to Taybait. She makes Taybait howl. Taybait introduces Memory_Jean to Rob. Memory_Jean introduces Rob to me. I make Rob see stars. Rob introduces me to KSlutz. I may have a moment of weakness and but then will quickly introduce KSlutz to RSM. We don't hear from either of them for a couple of days. Eventually, after she unties him and lets him out of the basement, KSlutz introduces RSM to Jacksper. RSM runs her hands through Jacksper's poodle hair and then introduces him to Fire Crotch. Fire Crotch lets Jacksper make her feel all warm and fuzzy, and then convinces him to introduce her the Edi, because she "likes dark chocolate." Because FC is cool like that, she lets Memory_Jean play with JBone (Taybait has served his purpose and she's put him outside). FC also said she'd be willing to take one for the team and do Gil, but at this point I don't think that will be necessary. I'll keep it in as a backup plan, just in case. He's down with the kids and all, so he might surprise her. I'm also willing to do KStew to get to Rob but I think The Hookup as it stands now is a pretty solid plan.
So there you have it. It's a hot mess, huh? If we put our powers towards really important things, I'm pretty sure we could end cancer and world hunger and get all the dogs on the planet spayed and neutered.
Meh...I'd rather have Rob. ;-)
I like the plan. And seriously...you heard from Matt's agent? OMG!!!!! #TheHookup
ReplyDeleteHoly fucking shitballs I am stifling the world's biggest gigglefest since I have a coworker literally 3 feet away from me.
ReplyDeleteSeeing #TheHookup spelled out in such wonderful detail gets me all tingly with anticipation.
Oh, my dear sweet #KSlutz...the basement...days pass...Meg, you know me so well. Oh, and when Memory_Jean puts the dog out, she can send him my way. I'll take him out for a sandwich ;)
Gil is down with the kids? Poodle hair? See stars? Dark chocolate? - LMFAO! You've outdone yourself my dear.
*shoves Meg right back on top of that pedestal so everyone can admire her wonderment*
*jumps off pedestal and kicks RSM in the shin* I don't like heights! Plus, it's all trufax...you bitches said it. I just put into a coherent paragraph. Well, that's relative I suppose.
ReplyDeleteRSM is going on the pedestal when she gets the flowchart done. And then FC is going to join her after the Taybait Birthday Celebration Get Out Of Jail Free Countdown Clock is finished.
ROFL at you lot! I love it, sounds like a plan. Muahahahaaa!
ReplyDelete